The Inner Critic: The Origin and Purpose of the Voice in Your Head

That stern voice in your head often has a history: Phrases that were once meant to bring order, from parents, teachers, and one’s entire social environment—and which, over time, begin to feel like one’s own opinion. Those who criticize themselves first preempt criticism from outside sources: a old strategy, which once felt like protection.

When the voice gets the loudest

This voice is loudest when someone falls short of their own ideal, because that is where Shame: when an ideal that one has strived so hard to achieve remains out of reach. Then it often sounds like this: „You should have known better.“ A sentence, short and absolute, with no room for context. If you listen closely, you’ll often detect a foreign accent in it—a tone of voice from someone else.

Identify, Review, Object

Here, one approach can help: recognizing the voice, knowing where it comes from, and allowing yourself to disagree with it. Understanding it and examining its statements can quiet it down. You can’t just turn it off at the push of a button. A place where it can be expressed can be a Consultation be.