Self-sabotage: getting in your own way, just before reaching the goal

Those who trip themselves up just before reaching their goal often have two objectives in mind: a conscious one and a hidden one. In the end, what remains is the Application on file. Out of nowhere, an argument breaks out the evening before the exam. That's exactly when the A Difficult Relationship, when she gets serious.

What Protects the Hidden Target

The hidden goal may serve to protect us from something: from envy, from the loss of a familiar role, from the fear that success demands a sacrifice. That’s why sheer willpower is of little help here: the hidden part has good reasons, even if they aren’t visible at the moment, and at some point, the pattern was a solution to something. Whether this interpretation holds true becomes clear through one’s own experience. The solution often lies in precisely what one is currently struggling against: if the feeling the pattern protects against becomes bearable, the pattern may become unnecessary.

Understanding Design Patents

For more details on how such protective patterns are formed and where they come from, see the Recognizing and Understanding. Understanding what your own pattern is protecting you from right now—that can be during the consultation clarify this together.